Halloweenstory

I am a 11 year old girl. I have long brown hair and I keep my hair up on a ponytail. My eyes are really dark black. I am also short. I think that's everything you have to know about me. But now I am going to tell you a story about my childhood. My dad died when I was about 10. I was at fift grade. I really loved my dad but he started drinking and he lost his job. One day after school when I came home my heart just melted. I saw my dad on the floor. I went to him but he wasn't breathing. I called my mom and she came home as fast as she could. My mom and I didn't talk much after dads death. But many weeks later my mom wanted to cheer me up and she taked me to the forest behind our house. The trip didin't go aswell as we hoped. My mom taked some snaks with us. After we had walked half an hour. We saw some dark mist at the right. My mom and I was stupid enough and fell for the trap. We walked into the mist because I wanted to see it closer.I don't remember anything after that. I just woke up in this really creepy house.

And now I am here. This room were I wake up is a normal room but everything here is really dusty an creepy. I think that here is somebody else. I really don't know enything more about this house because I just came here. That somebody who is here just walks in this house. I think that very soon I have to go and chek this house. It is really hard because I don't know if he is my enemy. Maybe I will wait a couple of hours before I make the decision. My brains tell me to go. I walk really slowly to the door of this room. I am not suprised when the door was locked. Ok so now I just have to find out a way to get the door open. Maybe if I maked some noise the other person who is here would come here and open the door. I see a closet here were I can hide in. Now it is the time to do this. Here is a table and vase that I could drop on the floor. I grab the vase and drop it to the floor. My feet almost freeze to the ground because I am so scared. Somehow I manage to get to the closet's door. I am shaking so hard. Really soon I hear some noises. Someone is coming here. The door opens and someone steps in. Ok so he is a man and he is really tall. His head is covered with a creepy hood. I think that he is not a really nise person. The man watched at the vase that I dropped. I am really reliefed that he didin't watch in the closet. I think that he is going to leave soon. After a few nervous minutes he finally leaved. I am going to wait a couple of minutes before I leave the closet. Now it is time to go. I walk out of the closet. My eyes don't see the man enywere but I see that there is at least two floors in this house. I don't know were to go. Maybe I should check if the door is locked or not. I walk down the wooden stairs. The door is really big and I see a lock in the middle. Of course there is a lock if the man doesn't want me to escape. Were would the man put the key? I am going to check this house a little bit closer. I go to the bathroom and I see a small pool in the middle of the bathroom. Maybe I should check the other places before diving in the pool. I really don't want to get wet if it is not nessecary. I don't know where the man is so I have to be careful. The next place were I think the key could be is in the mans bedroom. I really don't even know if he does have a bedroom. I go up stairs and I hear some noise. He is coming! I have to find a place to hide. The only place that is nearby me is the pool. I have to dive. I manage to get to the pool just in time. Hopefully I can hold my breath as long as the man is here. The pool is circled by rocks. I jump and under the water I see a big hole were I could hide. In the same moment I see also something sparkeling in the hole. Maybe it is the key. I dive to the hole and see the key hanging in a nail. I can't hold my breath much longer. My hand crabs the key and I swim up. The pool was small but really deep. I was so scared because I didn't know if the man was still there. He isn't here anymore. I am so exhausted. My feet carried me to the big wooden door. The door opens and I run away of that horrible house.

Kommentit

Wow, you did so well! The story was full of horror and excitement. You kept nicely the I-teller during the whole story. I found some very small spelling mistakes, but they so small that it doesn't matter. Brilliant Peppi! Keep on writing in English!

Kirjaudu sisään lisätäksesi tähän kommentin